My mother Bobbie Kessner and my sisters
Marla York & Schalan Mohtares are blaming the the victim
Blaming me for the violent crimes committed against me.
The blame me for being kidnapped and raped and held against
my will with a knife to my throat and a rifle between my eyes.
Schalan & Marla blame me for being held til’ the SWAT team
came to the rescue. It made the front page of our local paper.
None of the crimes matter to them. They blame me. It’s called
Victim Blaming and it is damaging, it is revictimization of the trauma
and violent crimes committed against me. It is heartbreaking.
They have boy children who were younger and they could have taught
them to stand up for women, taught them to break the silence ,taught them
to have compassion, taught them to show kindness. BUT NO, instead they
gossiped about me in fron of these boys (my nephews) , how do I know?
My sister Schalan told me…..how they discussed me, blamed me, talked
bad about me. They offered no assistance ,no compassion , no love. In
the meantime our daddy passed away and he left me all of his life insurance
money!!! Having a huge heart and loving them I share thousands of dollars
with them and they kicked me out of my family, kicked my daughter out of
the family , victim blamed me and slut shamed me and took their boys
away from an aunt who loves them!!! They took my money though money I
could have and should have used for my own daughter. This is who they are
, the truth is in what people do!!! See what they did and what the results
of victim blaming and slut shaming can destroy a person and the person they
are trying to destroy is me and my innocent daughter as well. It is shameful
beyond infinity and they call themselves chistians…. really?
Is what they do and what they have done…Is that what Jesus would do?
k a r a h ~ l i n 
They could have used the violence I endured as a teaching moment … to teach their boys about compassion and kindness and love. They could have. They still could!!! The question is will they? Or will they continues victim blaming and slut shaming. I could you would need to ask Bobbie Kessner, Marla Marie York or Schalan Carol Mohtares
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Their sons are grown now Benjamin and Samuel and Dimitri. I love them and I miss them and I grieve that my daughter was denied knowing her cousins!!!!
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Wow
I feel your hurt, the harm those from the inside perpetrate.
Expecting them to change, or in a way giving them power over you will not turn out good for you.
Each time you give them thought, it grows,. More electricity, blood and power go to things were give attention to.
Neuroscience describes it as. What fires together wires together. Where we place our attention grows. You are giving much more than attention, such emotion, to the past.
.
If you want to heal, you will have to find ways to stay present and not dissociate into the middle of your abuse like this.
Good luck..
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That sounds like good advice. I am working on it. It’s a journey. I believe you have to be where you are and move forward from there. It’s a process.
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My family denies my existence, calls me crazy for holding them responsible.
I held them responsible for sixty years, I suffered all sixty of them.
The last two, I let go and I suffer no more.
If my siblings accepted my reality, all their coping mechanisms would collapse, so me waiting for them to care about me or do the right thing is not going to happen. I have control where I place my attention, iany it is never on them
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Awareness is the first step and I see you did not delete my response.
I did not intend to be harsh or cruel, but saw an opening to support you and change your direction.
I can share and help,guide you developing tools that will,heal you.
You can heal and then chase happy, be free, present and empty of that unworthy, able to let go of that doubt and worry.
Good luck, Marty
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I do appreciate your comments. I understand that working through
victim blaming and betrayal and the hatefulness of a judgemental
family and their unwillingness to love me , support me and show
kindness is a process , same as most things in life.
The crimes committed against me, changed who I am. It isn’t who I
I am perse’, it’s what happened to me. PTSD causes problems in
relationships. I just thought my family would love and support me
,not judge me and kick me out of the family. It is so hurtful and
wrong. I have had enough therapy to recognize that what they are
doing is about them. It speaks about who they are as people.
It still hurts and I am working my way through it. I am much better
than I was. I admit no support from my immediate family has been
devastating.
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I am not discounting the harm done to you, I am acknowledging and am aware, in this moment, then I let go and move to this moment..
.
Your healing and happiness have nothing to do with these people, now. Things may change but your happiness, your healing, your letting go of being u nworthy, of being a victim, of being damaged will give attention to now and not fuel your suffering.
.
When you say you are devastated from your families lack of support, the ego, the cognitive right side is like a keyboard.
Type in I am unworthy
I am devastated and you will be devastated.
Devastated is past tense and no healing or happiness lives in this space.
The big picture, happiness and healing are now, in this moment only, when we leave this moment we suffer, dissociate into our trauma emotions and storyline.
It grows Everytime you give it attention.
My dad does not enter my consciousness, mhe beat me near half to death, criticized me till I thought life was not for me
He has to answer for his shit, I answer for my life
I am happy. You will be hard pressed to find unworthy on me, flaws oh yes many
You can come along
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